Right now I’m stuck… I’m in love i know that God is not in the center of this friendship/relationship. I feel that this is the reason it is falling apart in front of me. I want to be a STRONG GOD FEARING WOMEN. I want my guy to step up and be a MAN OF GOD, i want him to stop being a little boy who only cares about appearance. He has clearly made his mind up that he isn’t attracted to be, I strongly feel that this is his carnal mind speaking, Love was made to be blind. i guess that is gone. I also guess he just needs someone to fill his physical sexual twenty year old minds desires. I wish he truly knew how much love i hold in my heart for him. I am honestly trying so hard to be the girl he wants beside him when he lays down his head. i try so hard and so far my trying has led me nowhere but sin. All of the trying and not succeeding made me think hard. maybe i just need to do what they say and LET GO and LET GOD. I’m trying for something so hard but God isn’t even in this, my God should be at the center of it. My guy says he speaks to God and has a great relationship with him, i wish God would speak through him a little louder. I believe I’m going crazy about all of this, I’m crazy because i see that i am putting my love for him above my love for God. Its a horrible and sad thing to admit. I never thought id see the day i was so selfish that i love a human being boy more than i love my God my father, so from this moment on i pray this changes and i put God at the center. yes i am in love but its not right. I need my Lord at the center. God be the center.